The Truth About Icebreakers
by Jennifer Bame, Icebreakers co-facilitator
Editor's Note: Icebreakers has been going strong for almost two years now; I asked Jennifer to give is the skinny on the group as well as her insights on its success. For more information on Icebreakers, contact Jennifer at jensfog@flinthills.com.
What is Icebreakers?
Icebreakers is a support/discussion group for persons coming to terms with lesbigay issues. Basically, Icebreakers was designed to give people struggling with lesbigay issues a safe place to talk about these issues. Icebreakers is a group that we expect our members to outgrow, either to move on and join the lesbigay community socially or to find other networks that they feel comfortable with.
Who may attend?
Anyone may attend. We welcome everyone. We are made up of people who are just coming out, people who don't know how to "define" their sexuality and emotional preference, as well as people who have been out for a while and feel comfortable "defining" themselves. We are also made up of all ages, in addition to a variety of personalities and ethnicities.
What do you do?
Mostly Icebreakers is a support and discussion group. We usually open the meetings by allowing our members to briefly share what has happened in their lives in the last week (since we meet weekly). Then we ask if anyone has brought a topic they would like to discuss. If not, Guy and I will have a topic or two for the group to talk about. Recently, Guy and I have considered having presentations for Icebreakers, but we would only do this on an occasional basis. It is a way to bring information to people who are not ready to become an active part of our community, either politically or socially. It is essential that we keep Icebreakers an environment which allows persons just coming to terms with lesbigay issues a place to voice their ideas and concerns. At our last meeting, we tried this presentation idea out. We asked BGLS to do a Speakers Panel for the group. It was very successful.
Do you have special topics?
Since Icebreakers is a support/discussion group for persons just coming to terms with gay issues, we try to keep the topics at a basic level. We talk a lot about the process of coming out, the difficulties and benefits of staying in the closet, self acceptance, as well as, the good and bad things about being a lesbian, bisexual or gay person. Recently, I have noticed that our members who have been out for a while need to discuss more complex issues. BGLS is planning to hold discussion groups after their business meetings to fulfill this need in our community.
Who's in charge?
I would like to say no one is IN CHARGE. Guy and I are the official facilitators. It is important to note that we are NOT professional therapists, nor do we pretend to be. We are there to allow Icebreakers to function, facilitate discussion and occasionally tell our own stories when appropriate. Icebreakers is sponsored by KSU's Bisexual, Gay and Lesbian Society.
What contributes to the success of Icebreakers?
The diversity within our group is the greatest factor which contributes to the success of Icebreakers. Icebreakers is made up of a number of people from varying backgrounds, ages, ethnicities, personalities and varying comfort levels concerning queer issues.
How many people are going now?
Last semester (Fall 1997), our average number was between 8-12 in attendance. This semester our average number would be between 15-18. So we have grown significantly.
What makes the continued existence of Icebreakers important?
It would be a tragedy if Icebreakers were not to continue. This group has made such a difference in the lives of those who have attended. As we all know, coming out is a life long process, but to me the most important part of the process is self acceptance and self love. Icebreakers will not guarantee you will find that if you attend, but it does give those who attend an environment conducive of those values.
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